Looking Back.

On the first day of Kindergarten, my mom said that I was smiling and wiggling with excitement before I was even out of bed. I couldn't wait to start school. I loved learning and always tried my very best. I loved elementary school.

When I entered Junior HIgh, I remember thinking: "Wow, elementary school doesn't count for ANYTHING! No one will ever look back at those "grades" or ask what my extra curricular activities were. Why was I trying so hard? Now that I'm in Junior High (that's almost high school!), this really matters."

Once I made it to high school, I realized that I made it to the first step that actually mattered. Again.. "Why was I trying so hard in Junior High?. At least these grades and achievements will be looked at and potentially get me into college."

Went to college! And thought: "Man, high school was a joke. For the first time this is hard."

In PA school... and already thinking undergrad was joke. lol. I'm not even out of my first quarter of PA school (which has been challenging and an adjustment), but can see myself looking back and thinking summer was easy.

Such a terrible cycle! I've always been trying so hard and then when I look back on it, I wonder if it was worth all the trouble? all the stress? Obviously it's been worth it. Every step of my education has led me to the next. It's just easier to look back and think it was so simple because you're done with it. I guess I'm just hoping that in times of stress this year, I'll remember to let the stress go, still try crazy hard, and tell myself that I CAN DO THIS. I have to remind myself often.